Somebody asked me the other day, "how come you don't blog/write about being Mormon? Are you trying to hide it?"
It never occurred to me that anyone would construe my NOT blogging about being Mormon as an attempt to 'hide it.' Just like, it never occurred to me to blog about my Mormon-ness purely for the sake of telling my five blog followers that I happen to be Mormon. I mean, does anybody care -what religion an author/blogger is? I know I dont... It drives me nuts when people discuss the Mormon symbolism in Twilight...or debate whether or not Stephanie Meyer is a 'good' Mormon because of what her sparkly characters do. Do we know what religion JK Rowling is? Do we care?
But I digress.
In the interest of full disclosure, I shall blog once and for all about my religion. Yes, I am a Mormon - a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints otherwise known as the LDS church. My parents are also Mormon and they tried their bestest to teach us and raise us according to LDS gospel principles. Some of us frequently run amuck but we're all trying, learning, falling over, and getting back up again. I now try to raise my own children as 'decent' Mormons - and mess up more than I succeed - which is why NOBODY should ever see my blog as an example of a "good Mormon Mom Blog"....*ducks head in shame*
Some of you may be wondering, what's a Mormon? I could quote you a list of doctrinal descriptors and belief statements and direct you to the nearest missionary near you...but instead, Im going to do what I do best - and relay a waffly, possibly humorous, potentially offensive story from my salacious past.
Once upon a time, when I first started "dating" the Hot Man (as much as a young couple in Samoa could 'date'...) his mother was very happy. She said, "What a good choice! Mormon girls are good girls. Lani is a good girl!" She said this because Mormons (supposedly) do not have sex until they're married, don't drink alcohol, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't go to nightclubs, and don't wear revealing clothing. I will neither confirm nor deny at this time, if all those things were true of my nineteen year old self because my teenagers might read this blog and we all know how dedicated they are to seeking out evidence of their parent's misdemeanors so they can justify all of THEIR stupid choices... I will however say, that IF all those things were true of me, then, in her opinion, that made me a far superior choice compared to SOME of the girls her son had been going out with. (Naming no names...pointing no fingers...)
So yes, the Hot Man's mother was very happy we were dating. But then we got married. And a year or so later, the Hot Man decided to get baptized and become a Mormon. My mother-in-law wasn't so happy then. Especially when her son - much much later - became so committed to his faith that he went to the Mormon temple. She didn't like it one bit. "Don't you know that Mormons worship Satan? They don't believe in Jesus...they're a cult...they do strange sexual things inside those temples...there's a man wearing a horned mask talking to the Devil in there..." I guess she only liked nice Mormon girls when they dated her son. Not when they married him and took him over to the Dark Side of the Force.
Want to read the rest? Then you need to hop over to my new blog home by clicking on the link:
http://laniwendtyoung.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/mormons-are-satan-worshipers/
Omg! This is my fave blog entry of all time. You make me laugh so hard all the way in Sodom & Gomorrah, bka San Francisco. I found this entry so refreshing, and besides funny -- uplifting. There's something redeeming in reading about your truth. Not hidden, and not denied. You really have a way with words. It felt like I was either sitting with you getting the latest dish, or that I was receiving a letter from an old friend.
ReplyDeleteI think it helps that I'm also Samoan with a religious background.
The title of this entry was a terrific eye-catcher! I love that you titled this entry with the words from a criticism. My boyfriend is a writer too, and I'll be sure to share this entry with him.
Keep up the great writing because you're giving a voice to many of us sisters out here who've had similar experiences and thought they were the only ones.
Lani,
ReplyDeleteare you the eldest sibling in your family? I'm dying to read a piece about the pressures of being the eldest in a Samoan family. Please someone tell me it's the same for them too.
Satanists are also card-carrying "Temple Mormons" who would have to pass the annual muster of stringent questioning from both their bishop and their stake president.
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I was gonna ask you that day during the book signing @Eveni Carruther when you mentioned you were from Lotopa but somehow i was constrained! I feel you and i don't if you remember but i did mention Twilight! my point is, i'm just trying to reassure you that your writing is AWESOME and again thank you for sharing your knowledge despite the persecutions you're going through "now this is what it feels like when a Mormon writes a book" ahah and yes I am too a Mormon, a proud one! all i am, i owe it to the teachings of the church! Love you Lani (i would likely call you Abish from the BOM)
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